


I felt nothing.

by Crystal_Mae28



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eternal Sterek, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystal_Mae28/pseuds/Crystal_Mae28
Summary: "You're right, I finally kissed the girl of my dreams!" stiles said dreamily.Why is he doing this? Why can't he see how much this is hurting me? Why couldn't it have been me?Derek knew he was stupid to get his hopes up...he did. He just thought that maybe, for once, he could actually be happy.
Relationships: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77





	I felt nothing.

"I never thought I would feel like this again. I never thought that he wo-" Derek broke off in a choked sob. " God, look at me. I'm crying over a guy that was never even mine. Fuck...and now I'm talking to myself. This is just great. This is fucking perfect. Ah!" In a burst of anger, Derek picks up the closet object to him which just so happens to be his phone. "Shit" He said to himself. 

It had been a few hours since the phone incident and Derek had tried to busy himself with reading in the corner of the couch; desperately trying not to think about sti- about him. Safe to say he's not doing a very good job. Just as he was about to give up on reading and just go hide in his bed the loft doors slam open.   
"DEREK! Where are you?" Came the panicked voice of the one person he really did not want to see. The one person who he knew he couldn't hide from. The one person who made him feel like this to begin with.   
"Stiles?" Derek stood up to reveal his whereabouts to his guest. "What's wrong? who died?"   
" I thought you had, Derek. Learn how answer the phone or at least text back! I mean, fuck, with the amount of emergency situations that occur round here we can't afford someone to have their phone off just because they've decided to become Mr. Broody hermit-wolf. ..Fuck Derek. I was really worried." By the end of this outburst Stiles was panting for air and Derek was in shock. Did Stiles just say that he was worried about him? Why would he be worried about me? "Well?" Stiles asked expectantly, like he was waiting for whatever sorry excuse Derek could come up with.   
"Well what?" " WHY HAVN'T YOU BEEN ANSWERING MY CALLS OR MESSAGES OR TEXTS" Stiles was livid now and Derek had no idea why this was such a big deal." I broke my phone and haven't had time to get a new one, It's only been a couple hours. Besides, I thought you were on a date with Lydia. Why were you texting me?" Derek had finally looked at Stiles face now and what he saw crushed him. Why was Stiles so upset. He looked like he had been crying, his eyes were bright red and a little puffy. His freckles and moles blended with his spotted red cheeks. Derek had never seen something more adorable in his entire life. " It's been 5 hours! 5 hours Derek. I thought you'd been kidnapped again or worse. Why would I be on a date with Lydia?"  
'Why was he denying it. This is killing me cant he see that? Does he not care?' Derek thought to himself. He never thought he would feel this type of pain again... the pain he felt after Paige. He was right. 'This is so much worse'.  
"I saw you guys at the school... I was there to pick up Isaac. He was late so i went to look for him in the changing rooms, he keeps some of his stuff there even though I've told him a million times to keep it all here." Derek needed to take a deep breathe, he couldn't keep talking about this. Not with him. "Why are you here, Stiles?" Derek was tired. He'd tried hiding his feelings for so long and all it ever did was hurt him. And the second he thinks Stiles might actu- ... might actually feel something for him. He gets hurt again and again. It always happens... always. He was tired of hiding.   
" I told you. I was worried about you, I needed to make sure you're okay. Which you obviously are not. I mean, dude, when was the last time you showered or even ate for that matter? What's wrong Derek? I know you always get sad around the anniversary and birthdays and you have every right to. Hell, i don't think i got out of bed after my mum for the first few years, I have no idea how you do it; actually i do... you're the strongest, bravest person i know. But it's not near any of those dates. I know... I checked. So come one sourwolf, what's up?" Derek's heart fluttered at stiles' words. 'He checks the dates to make sure it isn't my families birthday's. He think I'm brave and strong. And the way he's looking at m- no... stop he doesn't like me. He likes Lydia.' Derek hated his thoughts sometimes.  
"I'm fine Stiles," Derek said rolling his eyes trying to play the whole thing off. "go home. The girls of your dreams finally kissed you, why don't you go annoy her or better yet kiss her some more" Derek sounded bitter, even to his own ears. "Dude what's your problem? Why are you so obsessed with the whole Lydia thing. I'm not leaving... I came here to see if you're okay because i care about you. God, is that so had to believe?" " YES! IT IS HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE,STILES, CONSIDERING EVERYONE WHO LOVES ME IS DEAD! AND THE PEOPLE ARE CARE ABOUT ARE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN AND THE PERSON I LOVE-" Derek takes a deep breathe and thinks 'Fucking hell does this hurt' " -loves someone else... Just. Please. Go"

Stiles looks gobsmacked, but there is something in his eyes that Derek doesn't recognise. Suddenly, a smirk appears on stiles' plump lips. "You're right, I finally kissed the girl of my dreams!" stiles said coyly." It was amazing, her lips are so soft and I've thought about it for as long as I could remember"

Why is he doing this? Why can't he see how much this is hurting me? Why couldn't it have been me?  
" I finally kissed the girl of my dreams, Derek.... And i felt nothing."  
"Huh" Derek looks up from the loft floor and feels tears rolling down his face. He doesn't remember looking down. He doesn't remember beginning to cry. He is utterly confused.  
Stiles walks forward closing the gap between them. When had he got that close? " I felt nothing" He cups Derek's cheek, slowly and soothingly wiping away the tears that had formed. "She kissed me and i didn't feel a damn thing. I was having a panic attack and Lydia Martian was there helping me and kissing me All i could think was how wrong it felt, it felt so wrong and all I wanted was to run to you and have your arms wrapped around me and feel safe. I wanted to feel safe, Derek. I wanted you! I still want you!" Derek was shocked. "Wha-" he didn't get to finish because Stiles wasn't done, "And all that crap about how any one that loved you is dead is just that- crap. Isaac loves, Erica loves you, Boyd loves you, Cora loves you, Scott loves you, hell, even Peter loves you in his own creepy way" Derek stifled out a laugh " But most importantly, I love you. I love you, Derek. I love how smart you are, I love hoe much you care about your pack, I love how good you are as alpha, I love how you laugh at something in a book that none else would ever find amusing, I love how you only ever buy whole milk because anything is just water and how you only eat white meat on a Sunday because that what your dad always did. I love how strong you are and I don't mean physically I mean emotionally. I meant what I said about you being the strongest person I know and that's saying something because I live with my dad- I wish I hadn't just brought him up...Look what I'M trying to say is I'm in love with you Derek. I have been for a while and it's actually kinda pathetic the amount of pin-oamph" Derek cut him off by kissing him. It was perfect...It felt safe and warm. It felt like coming home.   
After what seemed like hours the pair pulled apart "Wow" said a breathless Stiles, "I definitely felt something that time"  
"I'm in love with you too, Stiles" Derek said quickly," You have no idea how long I've wanted to tell you that, I just never thought you felt the same." He explained.   
" Well I do, so no more moping sourwolf." He pulls Derek in for another kiss, this one was shorter but it still felt like bliss. "I love you." Derek said while staring down at the beautiful boy in front of him. " I love you too sour wolf" Stiles replied with a smile.

"AWWW, well isn't this sweet. I must admit I'm disappointed to lose the bet but then, I guess that is my own fault for trying to win against Erica." Peter said seemingly to appear out of nowhere. "What the fuck Peter?" Stiles asks slightly annoyed. "Don't worry, I just came to get my laptop. I'll leave you to whatever it is you are doing..." With that peter turns to leave and starts walking towards the door but as he's about to walk out he mumbles just loud enough for Derek to hear," I am happy for you, nephew. You deserve to be happy...more then anyone." And with that the Loft door slams shut and Stiles is kissing Derek again. It's a lot to process but Derek wouldn't change anything for the world right now. He has the love of his life in his arms, his mate, and for the first time in a long time, Derek lets himself be happy.


End file.
